S for School Daze

Well, lovely reader, social work school has started. The program coordinator and other school staff weren’t kidding when they said this was an accelerated program. I went to orientation a couple weeks before classes even started and came home with assignments that were due the first day of class! I had four chapters to read and two papers (thankfully smaller ones at three pages each) to write as well as a worksheet to complete.

This is a snapshot of my homework assignments that are due next week: (Thanks, google calendar, for the awesome ability to make many different color-coded calendars and to view them in an agenda view!)

I’ll translate it for you. That’s nine (9!) chapters of reading. Two papers—Learning Moment #2 and Reflection Paper 1—that are to be a minimum of three pages each (typed in 12 pt. font, double-spaced, with one inch margins) with two cited sources in APA format and an APA formatted reference page. And, finally, two smaller writing assignments: Policy Article involves searching for an article on social policy and writing up a paragraph that includes a summary of the article and my opinion on it, and TD 1 is a response to a discussion board question that needs to be a paragraph to a page in length. (The latter is practice for future weekly discussion board threads in which we’ll be expected to post a paragraph to a page of writing in response to a discussion question posted by the instructor as well as writing a few responses to classmate’s posts.)

I have to do the reading assignments for each class in order to be able to write the necessary papers, because the papers need to include material from the recent assigned readings and my reactions to it or my reflections on particular topics in the texts. I’ll need to complete readings related to TD (threaded discussions) within a day or two before class in order to have time to engage in the discussions, which are to be completed by 11 PM the evening of class.

I work 8-5 Monday through Friday and attend classes from 5:30-9:30 on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. This leaves lunch hours Monday-Friday, Monday and Wednesday evenings, and weekends for homework. I am fortunate to have the ability to read pretty quickly, but I’m still incredibly overwhelmed at the moment. My schedule for the upcoming weeks looks similar, and in some cases worse, because there are also larger projects due in each of the four classes sometime within the semester. Project work will have to be worked into the “regular” schedule somehow.

I’m trying to wrap my head around how I’m going to space out all of this work each week. I’m sure I’ll figure something out soon. * PITY PARTY STARTING NOW * But right now, I’m imaging my weekends being majorly sucky as I work to complete most, if not all, of my homework each weekend while Musicman and the dogs do fun things like go on walks outside and enjoy the beautiful autumn weather that is on its way to Minnesota. Though I will be home with Musicman and the dogs on Monday and Wednesday evenings and on the weekends, I don’t anticipate spending much quality time together. * END PITY PARTY *

Depending on whether or not I can find a way to juggle this workload*, I might just end up having to cut my hours at work down to part-time (if they’ll let me). I was just starting to get used to the idea that I’d have to do this in a couple semesters in order to accommodate my first field placement (internship), so I’m not quite ready to give up half of my paycheck (and paid time off) just yet. I’m hoping that I’ll still be able to work part time through my second field placement, but due to the amount of hours required, it looks doubtful. I’m not ready to quit my job. The prospect of not earning any income at all scares the crap out of me. I’ve worked since I was 16 years old. I’m also very independent and stubborn, which translates to: I like to be able to take care of myself financially. I am having reeeeeeeallly big issues with having to go part-time and/or quit my job.

Such is life, I guess. This is what I signed up for. And, I have to keep reminding myself that it’s all going to be worth it in the end. I’m also so incredibly fortunate to have such an amazingly supportive husband. Musciman assures me that we will be fine. He has no trouble covering a larger portion of the household expenses, and he reminds me that this is only a temporary situation because I will find a job once school is over.

I’m trying not to worry, because I have enough on my mind and my plate as it is. I need to learn to take things as they come and roll with the punches. I’ve never been good at facing the unknown, so this is way out of my comfort zone, but that’s a good thing. I need to learn how to adapt to the world that resides on the other sides of the borders to my comfort. I’m going to try to be more even keeled and trusting of what the universe has in store for me.

I have to admit, despite the workload, I am so freakin’ excited to be embarking on my journey to becoming a social worker. I will post as I can in the days, weeks, and months ahead, lovely reader. I’m really going to try to take a little time to catch up with you at least weekly.

* It reeeeeeeeeally doesn't help that I've recently discovered the amazing time suck that is Pinterest! LOVING IT! 

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At the time of posting this (it was written a few days ago, but was waiting to be edited and posted), I have finished 2/3 of the reading. I plan to start the Learning Moment paper this afternoon and to finish up the three chapters of reading I have left. That will give me Monday through Thursday to complete the smaller writing assignments and the Reflection paper. I'm feeling really good about my progress!

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P.S. I know that no body likes a braggart, but I feel the need to tell you that, despite all the stress, I've remained smoke free. I haven't had a cigarette--not even a puff--for a little over 8 months!!! I've also stayed committed to Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan, and my work is paying off. I've lost over 30 pounds!!! Now, if only I could find some time to work some activity--even just walking--into my day, I'd be all set.

U for Update

Hello, lovely reader. Since I haven’t posted in a while, I thought I give you all a quick update of what’s going on in Elle’s world:
School is going pretty well. Busy, as usual. I’m surprised at how quickly I’m catching on to a lot of the algebra concepts. I’ve somehow managed to maintain an “A” so far, but things get harder and harder every week, so we’ll see how it all plays out. This class is super accelerated, because it’s two classes—beginning algebra and intermediate algebra—jammed into one semester. We have lectures Monday and Wednesday evenings with the test(s) for the chapter(s) we’ve learned that week due Sunday at midnight (chapter tests are done online). It’s pretty intense.

The final for beginning algebra is next Wednesday, so I’ve got to find some time to study and practice problems from the first six chapters we’ve covered so far. Even though I’ve done really well on the weekly tests and the midterm, I still want to make sure that I’m comfortable enough with all of the material to do well on the final. In order to move on to intermediate algebra, one must get at least a “C” in beginning algebra, and judging by how far behind some of my classmates currently are, I think there are going to be very few of us (like maybe a dozen) moving on.

Psychology has been interesting so far, but I don’t like taking a Saturday class at all. Class meets from 1-4:30 Saturday afternoon, which seems entirely too long most of the time. The instructor spends the whole time lecturing on the chapter(s) we were assigned to read the previous week and possibly showing a video or two related to the material. Weekly homework is usually a chapter or two of reading, an online tutorial or two related to the material we’ve read (with a worksheet to fill out and hand in), and a video to watch and summarize (one typed paragraph). Overall, the class hasn’t been too tough.

I won’t take another Saturday class again unless I absolutely have to. I hate that half of my weekend is spent on homework and being in class. I typically spend Friday evening finishing up whatever assigned Psychology reading I haven’t finished yet and completing the online tutorials and video summaries. Then, I spend half of Saturday sitting in class listening to a lecture that’s just regurgitation of the material I’ve already read. It feels like a big waste of time.

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MusicMan’s sister and her husband were visiting from Hawaii recently, so we went over to his mom’s house for an obligatory family dinner. I wish I could be closer with my sister-in-law (SIL), but it’s hard when she lives so far away and her husband is a giant douchebag. Just to put it in perspective for you, the last time I saw sister-in-law’s husband (Dbag) was a couple years ago. They spent the Christmas after my sister was murdered here in Minnesota. In fact, the night they flew into town and we all met at my mother-in-law’s for family dinner, to meet in person for the first time ever, was the night my sister was killed.

At first, this bonded us all together quite quickly. I was surprised at the support sister-in-law and her Dbag gave me and the sadness they showed over the loss of my sister, whom they’d never met. But, a few days after Christmas and less than a week after I’d lost my sister, we had SIL and Dbag come to our house for the evening to have some drinks and hang out so that we could all get to know each other a little better.

During their visit, SIL’s husband (we refuse to call him brother-in-law because he’s such a giant douche), Dbag, spent part of the evening lecturing me about how we all had a responsibility now to make sure that Li’l D grows up to be a better person than his father (obviously!) and his mother (WTF?!)! He’s lucky I was still exhausted and in shock, because the conversation wouldn’t have gone as calmly as it did had I not been. In fact, thinking of it now makes me want to throat punch him, followed by a swift kick to the groin, while explaining to him what a great person my sister was and telling him that, if her son grows up to even be the slightest bit like her, he’ll be an amazing person, unlike Dbag.

During this recent visit, Dbag barely even spoke to MusicMan or me; except to tell us that one of our dogs, Lucy, is “out of control.” His reasoning was that she “attacked” his dog. First of all, his dog isn’t socialized to other dogs; unlike Lucy, who has regular daycare visits and overnight stays, resulting in her being a well socialized dog. As a result, SIL’s dog doesn’t really know how to behave around other dogs. Second of all, Lucy didn’t attack his dog. She tried to play with his dog, his dog snapped at her, and she responded in kind. A little tussle ensued, which MusicMan and I have learned to just let go for a bit to see if the dogs will work it out because usually they work it out themselves and everything’s fine.

Apparently, Dbag was unaware that dogs should be allowed to work it out (as long as no one was being hurt, which no one was), and he picked Lucy up by her harness and tossed her off of his dog. I was appalled, but held my tongue, keeping Lucy with me the rest of the evening. A few days later, Lucy started to squeal if she was touched the wrong way and she refused to jump up onto the couch or the bed. We knew something was wrong, but we didn’t know what. A vet visit and $75 later, we found out that she had a pinched nerve in her shoulder, likely a result of someone picking her up by her harness as though it were a handle. Thankfully, after a week of rest and medication to reduce pain and swelling, she was back to her old self again.

Needless to say, I was livid. I wanted MusicMan to march over to his mother’s house with the vet bill and a few harsh words to Dbag or I was going to do it. Instead, we decided it best to inform his mom as to what had happened, and MusicMan left Lucy at home when we went to dinner a week later to say goodbye to his sister and Dbag (lucky for him, I had class that night and couldn’t attend dinner at mother-in-law’s). Mother-in-law, who excels at passive-aggression, made a few digs at Dbag here and there during dinner, according to MusicMan, but I’m still not happy that no one (including myself) said anything directly to him about the fact that he had injured our dog and he is a giant douchebag.

I don’t typically hold grudges, but I’m so done with Dbag. Though I love and respect my mother-in-law, I will no longer run to her house for obligatory family dinners simply because sister-in-law and Dbag are in town, granting us simpletons the honor of basking in the glow of their presence. No thanks. Despite what they seem to think, and how other family members seem to act about their visits, they are not special. Since they can’t even manage to thank us for switching our schedules around to take the time to visit with them while they’re here, nor can they seem to manage to even fake enjoyment over seeing us, I see no reason to make a big deal out of their visits. The limited free time I have can be spent on much, much better things and with much, much better people.

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I’ve had a serious case of writer’s block lately, which is why I haven’t been posting as much. My carpal tunnel seems to be flaring up quite a bit lately too, which sends shooting pains up my right arm and the back of my hand and has my fingers constantly cramping and aching too. No good!

MusicMan has finally uploaded all of the Lake Tahoe photos, so I’m going to pick some of my favorites to post soon. I hope all is well in your world, lovely reader!

S for Stresserella

I am a total Stresserella, lovely reader!! (Not to be confused with her prettier, more even keeled sister, Cinderella.) As you might remember, I’m leaving this Sunday to go to Lake Tahoe for a software conference that work is sending me to. I wish I were more excited, especially since MusicMan is joining me on the trip, but I’m just not. Because I’m overwhelmingly stressed!! I have a lot to do before we go: homework, cleaning the house, doing laundry, packing, etc. And, with a new class starting the day before we leave, I’m really starting to worry about getting behind on class work.

I was hoping to be at least a chapter ahead in algebra class by now, because then I’d have no worries about missing one whole week of class next week. However, I’m only about half a chapter ahead at the moment, so I have some serious catching up to do. With Psychology class starting Saturday, more homework is sure to be added to the mix. I’m starting to feel like I won’t have any free time while we’re in Tahoe, because any time that I’m not at the conference, I’ll need to be working on homework. That translates to this trip being anything but fun, which translates to me being a sad, sad girl.

I was thinking that, if I could get far enough ahead in math, I could create a cushion so that homework wouldn’t get overwhelming once Psychology started. I’m probably stressing more than I need to over this, because I’ve heard that the bulk of Psychology homework is staying on top of reading, but stressing seems to be what I do best. Since I’ve heard that Psychology class mainly consists of lectures, reading, and quizzes, I should be fine as long as I can manage to stay on top of the required reading each week. I’m confident that I’ll figure out a way to get further ahead in algebra; even if that means working on homework through lunch breaks at work, which isn’t ideal, but is an option I can exercise.

I should be able to do some reading and catching up on the plane and in the airport while I wait for my flights, because I have a connection in Phoenix both on the way out and on the way back. Unfortunately, all of my math homework and the textbook are online, so I can’t really do much on the plane. Technically, I’m not behind, so I shouldn’t really worry too much. I’m just not where I thought I would be is all. I hate when things don't work out exactly as I've planned.

Speaking of connecting flights, I’m super worried about that. It’s been years since I’ve flown anywhere, and I’ve never flown anything but direct flights, so I have quite a few concerns. Like: what if they don’t transfer my luggage from plane to plane? It seems that there’s a high likelihood that someone somewhere could mess this up, which could mean my luggage would stay in Phoenix while I go on to Reno. I will pack an outfit in my carry on just in case, but that’s only one outfit; I cannot wear the same outfit for three days! Not to mention that I’d have to go out and buy necessities like: makeup, contact solution, deodorant, lotion, etc.

Also, what if the planes aren’t running on time, causing me to miss my connection?! I have two and a half hours in Phoenix on the way out, so I should be okay there. You don’t often hear of flights running over two hours late. I think…I hope. On the way back, however, there’s only 45 minutes of wait time in Phoenix. The odds of missing that connection seem quite a bit higher, which is so not good. As it stands, if everything works perfectly and I make the connection, I’m set to land back in Minnesota at about 11:30 pm. That’s late; especially considering that I have to work the next day! Can you imagine what will happen if I miss the connection?! That would suck so hard!

I know that I really need to learn not to stress over the things I can’t control. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about either of these situations, so there’s really no use worrying about them. Unless the time comes. And then? I will lose my shit freak the hell out and maybe cry. Let's just hope that all of the pilots, baggage people, and all other airline/airport workers bring their "A game" and that everything runs smoothly.

MusicMan’s best friend, Geoff, is coming to stay at the house to take care of the dogs, which means the house has to be cleaned. MusicMan is going to take care of that this week, but I feel awful that I can’t pitch in and help. My housekeeping skills have been seriously lacking since I started school, and I feel just awful about it. MusicMan doesn’t seem to mind too much, but I don’t like feeling as though he does the bulk of the work while I do nothing. Well, not completely nothing—I do the laundry weekly and wipe down kitchen and bathroom counters daily—but I don’t do as much as MusicMan does to keep our house clean.

I’m super glad and relieved that Geoff was available to take care of the dogs for us. Sending them to doggy daycare would’ve been wicked expensive, and there are not many people we trust with our dogs. I know that sounds crazy and ridiculous, but they’re our kids. I’ll just leave it at that, because I learned long ago that if people don’t understand this, there’s no use in trying to explain it. Let’s just leave it at: we’re those people.

Our parents aren’t necessarily those people (at least not to the degree we are), so they were immediately out of the running. Also, none of them would be able to stay at our house with the dogs, which was ideally what we wanted. While Lucy isn’t very high maintenance, our rescued dog, Dexter, is. Dexter does much better, and would be most comfortable, in the environment that he’s used to. We wanted Lucy and Dexter to be with someone who will take care of them the same way as we would (or as close as possible, at least).

When we started thinking of who to call, we could only think of two people that (1) we trusted enough, (2) would possibly be available to do it without being too put out, and (3) don’t mind that the dogs sleep in the bed: Geoffy and CousinFriend. Since Geoffy is a single guy with no other obligations, we called him first. Thankfully he was available. I have two pages of notes and instructions ready for him.

I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but in my defense, half a page of notes is miscellaneous stuff like: make sure to jiggle the toilet handle if the toilet runs, how to clean up any “accidents” Dexter might have, and instructions for logging on to the internet, using the TV and remotes, etc. Also, we feed our dogs a raw diet, so feeding them isn’t just as easy as pouring kibble into a bowl. (Though we do feed pre-made raw food, so it’s not too time consuming either. It’s just that the food needs to be thawed overnight, portioned out, and cut up, and a clean bowl needs to be used for each meal.) This is the first time we’ll be away from the dogs for so long, and also the first time we’re leaving them in someone else’s care, so hopefully it goes well.

To summarize, I’m a total Stresserella and have a lot of things to get done in the next few days! Please keep your fingers crossed for me, lovely reader.

Have you ever flown with connecting flights? How’d it go? (And, if it didn’t go well, just pretend I didn’t ask.)

B for Burnt Out!!!

The subject line above sums up my feelings pretty accurately. It has been a challenging, crazy, hectic, pretty much ridiculous two weeks, but I’ve somehow survived it. My last post illustrated how the past two weeks were supposed to go, but here’s what actually happened:

Monday, July 5: Speech project was about three quarters finished. I had compiled research and began to put it into a crude outline. I started to wonder if I should just take the incomplete grade, and not bother showing up on the 14th. I somehow managed not to cry over how frustrated I was.

Tuesday, July 6: I spent much of the day at work compiling my Sociology group’s data together into a script for our fake talk show. This should’ve been done by now, but the group members chose to enjoy their holiday weekends instead of actually sending me their research. I cursed them (and imagined some not so nice things happening to them) while also trying to commit enough of my Sociology notes to memory to somehow pass the final.

English class started. I heard the words “group work” and nearly walked out of the class. Found out during break that group work is all done during class, and calmed down. First assignment: read 60 pages of book before Thursday. Doesn’t seem like it will be such a bad class—two small essays and a larger final writing project seems quite manageable!

Wednesday, July 7: Spent some time at work studying Sociology notes. Hoped fate would miraculously intervene and the final would be cancelled. Fate screwed me. Took Sociology final. Realized my brain retains a lot more info than I give it credit for. Felt as though I did pretty well on final. Ran through talk show with group members a few times. Went home and did a little reading for English assignment.

Thursday, July 8: Finished reading assignment for English class during lunchtime at work. Attended second session of English class. Starting to second-guess this class. Seems like a lot of reading for what is supposed to be a writing class. Assignment: read 44 pages of book.

Friday, July 9: Took the day off of work to get a haircut, in the hopes of looking halfway decent for cousin’s wedding, and to work on speech. End up napping on and off most of the day. (Was obviously exhausted.) Get haircut. Do a little shopping to try to find something to wear to wedding tomorrow. Work on speech outline and finish up competence narrative. Freak out that speech won’t be long enough. Do crude read through aloud to figure out that I do, in fact, have enough data. Proceed with writing speech outline.

Saturday, July 10: Realize that there are some Lifetime Fitness class assignments due Sunday. Oops! Good thing I noticed on time! Attend cousin’s wedding. Wish I would’ve just stayed home, because though it was good to see siblings, niece, and dad, my time would’ve been more valuable spent working on speech. Get home relatively early in the evening and work on Lifetime Fitness assignments. Once again contemplate taking incomplete grade on speech. Try hard not to cry.

Sunday, July 11: Monster headache. Upload completed Lifetime Fitness assignments. Realize how far behind I am on reading for Lifetime Fitness and am thankful it’s an online class. Finish up reading for English class. Practice speech, and make note of how much work it still needs. PANIC! Before bed, I tell MusicMan it just might be best if I don’t go to the Public Speaking Competence. Worse case, I’ll lose the money, but that’s gonna happen anyway when I go and fail it. He stays silent. He knows the stress has hit, and that it’s claws are pierced deeply through my skin.

Monday, July 12: Go to work and tell boss I’m taking tomorrow off for appointments. I’ve really gotta finalize my speech outline and practice, practice, practice. Realize I have no idea where to go to give speech on Wednesday. Call school to get info. Go to final Sociology class. Find out I got an A on the Sociology final. Not really sure how I pulled it off, but excited and pleased that I did. Group presentation goes surprisingly well. I laugh when many classmates tell me I should be a talk show hostess in real life, because I did such an amazing job. Ego boosts makes me start to think that maybe, just maybe, I can do this speech on Wednesday.

Tuesday, July 13: Finish speech outline. Practice. Speech is too long! Cut some stuff out of outline and practice again. Dogs listen attentively. Speech is about 11 minutes, which is pretty much perfect considering guidelines state 10-12 minutes. Transfer important notes to note cards. Realize I need bigger note cards. Shower, run to drug store, buy 4x6 note cards to replace too small 3x5 note cards. Transfer important notes to new, bigger note cards. Practice speech again. Realize I need to change some things on the note cards. Write new cards once again. For the first time, start to feel like I just might have a chance at passing Public Speaking Competence.

Eat a very very quick dinner with MusicMan and go to English class. Starting to hate English class. The class is called “Research Writing in the Disciplines,” hinting that it’s a writing class, however we seem to spend a large amount of time analyzing what we’ve read (in small groups of course) and pulling quotes from the book. To me, this is a waste of time, and I do not have time to waste. Assignment: read 117 pages from book and write 2-4 page draft of first essay…BEFORE THURSDAY! Truly hate English class and instructor now. Realize instructor is obviously bat shit crazy. Try not to cry, scream, or lose my shit, which is hard to do when exhaustion set in long ago.

Go home and practice speech. MusicMan listens attentively and is very encouraging about how great speech is. End at 11 minutes 56 seconds—just under the wire. Go to bed too exhausted to care. Stress is at an all time high. Decide—worst case—I’ll fail the competence tomorrow, losing money I would lose anyway if I don’t show, and I’ll have to pay and find time to take the class. There is no way I’ll have the fortitude to attempt the competency again if I fail, making the only option squeezing the actual class into my already packed schedule of classes I have left to take to complete my associate’s degree.

Wednesday, July 14: Read through lunch. Get less than half of English reading assignment done. Contemplate just skipping the rest, and remember there are quizzes on the reading. Ponder how I’ll finish it on time and wish horrible illness upon instructor. Experience odd sensation of driving home after work rather than directly to school. Have dinner with MusicMan. Drive to campus to give speech. Think about how sick I am of being on campus. Listen to a few dismal speeches, and start to think mine might not be so bad. Go up to give speech…

Nerves set in, even though audience contains only seven people (including instructor). Start speech. Totally skip over thesis statement. SHIT! Panic when I realize this, but keep going. Feel like I’m flying through it—almost can’t catch my breath. Finish speech. 14 minutes!!! OMG—How did that happen?! Think, “Well, better to be over then under.” Nothing I can do about it now. It’s done. Almost cry when I actually realize that it is, in fact, done. Pray that I passed it. Listen to final two speeches. Hear instructor say, “You all passed this part of THE competency…full results will be sent to you in 4-6 weeks.”

Think: “WOOOOOOOHOOOOO!”

Then: “What the hell?!?! WHY did I work so hard, and stress so much, over this when, apparently, one just needed to show up and speak to pass?!?” Seriously! There were people who just stood up and read their outlines, with no visual aids in site. There was one woman whose speech I couldn’t explain to you if I tried, because I could not for the life of me understand what her subject was or what the fuck she was talking about. Apparently I was the only one who read all of the guidelines and tried my hardest to meet them all.

Drive home relieved that it’s over, but pissed off that I worked so hard when it was quite obvious that the six other people there didn’t. Also realize that I took 10 credits this summer, which is just 2 credits short of full time student status. Wonder what in the hell I was thinking.

Arrive home. MusicMan consoles me with, “At least it’s over. Your hard work will pay off in the form of a higher letter grade equivalent than what the others will get.” Think about how lucky I am to have such a great husband. Go to bed completely spent, but with a profound sense of relief that the speech is finally over.

Thursday, July 15: Finish English reading during lunchtime at work. Curse instructor once again. Tell boss I’ll need to use an hour of the afternoon writing a paper for class and that I’ll make it up by working through lunch on Friday. He gives the okay. (What else can he do, really? The alternative was that I was going to leave work early to go home and work on the paper.) Pound out a ridiculously bad draft. Head to class.

Nearly leave class an hour in, because I’m so frustrated over how much time we’re wasting once again analyzing the book and pulling quotes instead of actually reviewing each other’s papers and getting info on how instructor will grade papers. Commiserate with classmates during break—glad to find out I’m not the only one who thinks this class is getting ridiculous and instructor is bat shit crazy with a capital C. Head home from class 15 minutes late, because instructor only gave us 4 minutes to review each other’s papers, so many of us stayed late to get it done. Curse instructor and class. Realize there are only three weeks (6 classes) left, and that if I’ve made it through the past two weeks, I can make it through this.

Arrive home. Have hard time settling down, because I’m so worked up. Feel as though I should be doing something, because I’m so used to being in constant motion at this point. Go to bed thoroughly exhausted, wishing it was Friday.

So, that’s it, lovely reader! I somehow made it through. I’m not thrilled about having to take two days off of work to do it, but there was no way I would’ve gotten everything done if I hadn’t. I never could’ve anticipated, at the time I registered for classes, just how overwhelming these two weeks would’ve been. I hope to never have to deal with similar circumstances ever again. I still can’t believe it’s over, and I survived relatively unscathed. It's going to take me a while to de-stress though...I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something or that there's something I really should be working on. It's amazing how much of a weight that speech was on my shoulders.

This weekend, I have to catch up on reading three chapters of the Lifetime Fitness textbook to prepare for the exam next week. Thankfully, the class ends Thursday. (I'm hoping the instructor opens the exam sometime before Thursday, or I'll have to take it during lunch at work or after I get home from English class.) Then, of course, I have 119 pages to read for English class. Finally, I have to write the final copy of my first essay, which is due Tuesday.

I have missed you, lovely reader. I’m so glad to be back! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you sooooooooo much for the fabulous comments you’ve left and emails you’ve sent giving me support and letting me know you’ve been thinking of me. You all really helped me to get through these past couple weeks, and for that I am endlessly thankful. You all are seriously the best!!! I am working on catching up on your blogs and responding to your emails. I will eventually get through it all. Thanks again, lovely readers, for being so freakin' fantastic! I pink puffy heart looooove each and every one of you!

L for Let the Crazy Begin!

First things first, lovely reader. I earned an A on my Sociology midterm!!! I am super duper proud of myself. As you know, I wasn’t sure I did all that well on it (partially because it was my first experience with blue book exams). Remember how I was concerned that the instructor would think I was bullshitting her? Well, apparently she didn’t see it that way at all. In fact, in some of the areas I thought I bullshitted the most, she wrote things like “Exactly!” “Yes! Yes! Yes!” “Absolutely!” and “Perfect!” This means I’m getting an A in the class, so hopefully I have a little leeway for the group project, which I don’t think is gonna be great (or even good). Then again, I have been accused of being a pessimist, so I could be totally wrong.

This weekend marks the beginning of the two busiest weeks of my summer. While I would like to be able to say that I’ll spend the long holiday weekend resting and relaxing in order to prepare myself for the hectic schedule ahead, that’s simply not true. I will be spending the weekend finishing the work for the Public Speaking Competency; the writing of the speech in particular. I’m down to the wire now. I’ve put myself in this situation in which I now simply have to force myself to get it done. As long as I pass this competency, I’ll be happy at this point. I just want it done.

Here’s what the next two weeks looks like:

Monday, July 5: The speech project will be done or nearly done. (Hopefully time for a little rest and relaxation?)

Tuesday, July 6: English class starts. This writing intensive course marks the beginning of five weeks of large, time consuming writing assignments.

Wednesday, July 7: Sociology final. (Hopefully I'll do as well as I did on the midterm!) I'm hoping my group will gather after the exam to practice our presentation. There are some group members who seem to think we should meet an hour before class while others of us would prefer to spend that time studying for the final. We’ll see how it plays out.

Thursday, July 8: English class. Cross fingers, wish, hope, and pray that there’s no assignment for at least another week.

Friday, July 9: Catch up on Lifetime Fitness reading and homework. Work on inevitable English homework.

Saturday, July 10: Tie up any loose ends that remain for the Public Speaking Competency. Work on first writing assignment for English. (I just know the first one will have been assigned by now.) Attend cousin’s wedding from late afternoon on, calling it an early night in order to get home and back to working on homework.

Sunday, July 11: Practicing speech. (I hope.) Work on English assignment. Practice for Sociology group presentation.

Monday, July 12: Last day of Sociology class! Group presentation.

Tuesday, July 13: English Class.

Wednesday, July 14: SPEECH!

Thursday, July 15: English Class.

Friday, July 16: Catch up on Lifetime Fitness reading and homework. Begin new English assignment. Celebrate that the two weeks of complete and utter craziness are over. Begin worrying about results of Public Speaking Competency. Work to reconnect with MusicMan, because I will not have seen or spent hardly any quality time with him the whole week.

It’s times like these when I really start questioning what I’ve done. What have I gotten myself into? Do I really have what it takes to do this for three more years?! Then, of course, I remind myself that this will all be worth it in the end. Then, I wonder if social work is really the right path for me; it’s hard work with not much monetary payoff, there’s a quick burnout rate, and sometimes I think I hate people too much to want to try to help them. Then, I spend about a millisecond thinking about quitting it all and taking my life back. Then, I remind myself that this will all be worth it in the end.

It hasn’t even started yet, but I’m already exhausted!! I’ll get through it. Somehow...someway...I will get through it.

Hopefully with most of my sanity still intact!

I’m working on a couple posts that I’m going to try to complete and schedule for the time that I’m away. At the very least, there should be Wayback Wednesday posts both weeks. I’m also working on passing along some blog awards that a couple of my wonderful readers have passed along to me.

For my American readers, I hope you have a wonderful (and safe) holiday weekend!! (Of course, I hope my non-American readers also have a fantastic weekend!)

A for Anticipation

Do you ever have those moments where life just feels completely out of control, lovely reader? That is what last week was like for me. Just a quick summary: Monday I worked and had class; Tuesday I worked, had a haircut appointment, then a doctor’s appointment; Wednesday I worked, had a dentist appointment, then the visitation for Music Man’s grandma, followed by a family dinner at a local restaurant; and Thursday was the funeral, followed by dinner at my in-laws’ house that evening.

By Thursday afternoon, I was exhausted! I felt as though I’d barely been home all week, which I really hadn’t considering that 9:30 was the earliest I'd gotten home all week, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I passed out on the couch ‘til around 5:30 when Music Man and I had to get ready to go to his parent’s house for dinner. It was nice to get to spend a little bit of time with my sister-in-law who was in town for the funeral. She and her husband are stationed in Hawaii (he’s Navy), so we don’t get to see them very often.

Most of the weekend was spent catching up on homework, since I’d gotten no time to do it during the week. Music Man and I did have a lovely little date on Saturday. We went out to dinner at a great local pizza place called Pizza Luce. They have the best pizza in the entire world, and the atmosphere is fun and laid-back. When we got home, we watched some "Six Feet Under" (we love NetFlix for watching season after season of TV shows we didn't watch the first time around) and ate the wonderful carrot cake we’d brought home from “Luce” for a late dessert.

I started feeling rundown on Sunday, but I pushed past it and went to work and class on Monday. This second Geology quiz was ridiculous! I really really really can’t stand how arbitrary this professor is with his directions on prepping for quizzes. Though I studied my ass off, there were many things on this quiz that I wasn’t expecting to see; things that weren’t mentioned at all in class and were barely mentioned in the assigned reading. It was frustrating to say the least!

I ended up getting 43 out of 50, which isn’t so bad. The professor was baffled that scores didn’t improve very much on this quiz. He’d thought this was an “easy” one and that everyone would do better since we should’ve known what to expect. The trouble was that we didn’t know what to expect! I studied all of the diagrams he wanted us to memorize and my class notes from his “lectures.” (I use the term very loosely.) I also studied my notes from the textbook chapters we'd been assigned to read. Still, a lot of the exam was foreign material. It has become quite clear that the professor has checked out. Once or twice every single class he’s mentioned something about retirement, making it clear where his focus lies and it’s not with educating us on the wonders of Geology.

We tried to get the professor to explain what our scores meant in terms of letter grades, but he told us he’d have to go home and figure it out based on grade distributions from quiz one and two combined. He said, “You’re all doing probably about 10% better than you think you are.” Based on that, and knowing I got the second highest grade in class on both quizzes, I can assume I’m managing to pull an A for the class. At least I hope so. I’m gonna be really pissed if my 4.0 GPA is ruined by a class I didn’t even want to take!

The only reason I took this class was that my degree plan advisor insisted it was the best option to get the required science lab out of the way. I still have to take some biology classes, and was set on taking one of those with a lab, but she’d insisted that Geology was the quickest and easiest way. It might be the quickest, but it certainly hasn’t been the easiest. I'm thankful that there are only two more classes and one more quiz left!!!

I spent yesterday and Tuesday sleeping the days away; finally too overcome by allergies and exhaustion to do much of anything else. It’s times like those that I’m thankful for paid time off of work and FMLA paperwork that protects me from losing my job because of “unplanned absences.” I was able to catch up on my blog reading a little bit yesterday. I didn’t leave very many comments, because I didn’t have much to say, but I am happy to be mostly caught up with reading the blogs that I follow. I hope to be back to commenting soon!

Music Man has a gig in our favorite North Shore city this weekend, so we’ll be spending Saturday in Duluth. We are both sooooooo excited! Not only does this mini-getaway provide a much needed break, but it’s also one of our most favorite places in the whole entire state. (It was the first stop on our North Shore honeymoon back in 2008.) We splurged a little bit and reserved a large suite in a hotel in Duluth’s Canal Park, which is one of our favorite locations in all of Duluth.

Depending on the weather, we’ll probably walk the boardwalk along Lake Superior Saturday afternoon, maybe grabbing a few sandwiches from one of our favorite cafes to eat as a picnic lunch along the way. We’ll do a little shopping at some of our favorite places in Canal Park, and then we’ll probably retire to the hotel for a nap before the gig. Right now, rain is in the forecast, so we might just end up doing a little shopping and retiring to our suite. We have a lakeside view, so we’ll watch the rain on the lake and will chat about life and everything under the sun; just enjoying each other’s company.

I love that, though we’ve been married for almost two years (and together for four years), we never seem to run out of things to talk about. I suppose it helps that our families seem to provide an endless supply of crazy drama (unfortunately). But, we also truly enjoy spending time together, just us. No matter what—rain or shine—it’s going to be an incredible weekend!!!

We’ll have dinner at Fitger’s Brewhouse, which is the location of the gig. Fitger’s is Duluth’s local (only) brewpub, and their beer and food are fantastic; the historic building lends a unique atmosphere as well. I might end up heading back to the hotel to do homework instead of watching the gig, but we’ll see. Music Man is, of course, fine with that; I’ve seen the band perform countless times, and homework needs to come first.

(I have two chapters of the textbook to read and about a dozen labs to work on. The labs aren’t due for another week, but I’d like to at least attempt them; that way, should any questions arise as I work on them, I can get the questions answered in class on Monday.)

Sunday morning we’ll find somewhere fun to have brunch before making the three hour drive home. I can’t wait! I am so excited to spend part of the weekend in my favorite city with my most favorite person! The excitement and anticipation will get me through these next couple days of work, and hopefully over the lingering exhaustion that seems to cling to me as a result of the nasty allergy season we are having.

MIA

My discussion partner seems to be MIA.  I wonder if she's decided our topic is too hard, so she doesn't want to deal with it.  Perhaps she's been struck down by H1N1.  Maybe she's contacted the instructor and pleaded temporary insanity, "I didn't realize what I was doing singing up for Discussion Leading so soon."  I don't know.  What I do know is that I worked my ass off today to gather materials for the discussion and to complete my rhetorical analysis of the essay we're focusing on.  I haven't heard from my partner since Thursday, and we have to lead this discussion in class on Tuesday; a little less than 48 hours from now.  We still need to figure out who is going to say what and whether we're on the same page in terms of the analysis of the essay.  This is why I hate working with partners.  For now, I'm preparing to fly solo on this one, because that way I will be prepared no matter what.

Music Man brought up a good point after witnessing my meltdown this morning over all the work I still had to do.  Even though I'll still have about the same amount of homework from week to week, this big project will be out of the way.  After this week, I'll no longer have to worry about this big, stressful part of my grade.  This is both good and bad.  Good because it will be done and I will not have to stress over it anymore.  Bad because it's 10-15% of my grade, and if I don't do well on it, that's just going to damper my spirits; maybe even push me to decide that I might as well not try as hard on all the other stuff.  I reeeeeeeeally hope I do well on it.  I'll know after Tuesday.

I have one piece of the mountain of homework left to complete:  the essay.  I've picked my art.  Now all I have to do it bullshit my way through the first draft of an essay.  I should be able to get that done tomorrow.  Then, I'll be all ready to go for class.  What a fantastic fuckin' weekend I've had.  I bet you wish you were me...

Maybe Halfway There

So I've finished reading the four essays I had to read, and I've written the one paragraph summaries.  I also finished watching all three videos and wrote those summaries as well.  Each video was about a half an hour long, which was longer than I expected and is way too long when you're talking about things like free writing and peer feedback.  My absolute delight over watching these wonderful masterpieces was exponentially increased by the dumb fuckin' trick-or-treaters from the ghetto apartments the next block over who kept ringing my doorbell and knocking on my door even though the fuckin' outside lights were OFF!  Which, of course, threw Wiggly into absolute fits of barking and running from window to door to try to figure out who the fuck was trying to invade our fortress of estrogen.  She gets especially crazy when Music Man is gone, which he is tonight because he has a gig (he's not called Music Man for nothin').  I've also managed to finish all of the required reading, including the two handouts.  I can't even began to tell you how riveting that was.

So, all that's left now is that essay about art and the discussion leading.  I'm quitting for the night.  I'm tired--No...Exhausted, which I really shouldn't be since I took a nap today.  I feel as though I might be coming down with something, which I sincerely hope I'm not, because I cannot afford to get sick right now.  I don't give a shit about missing work, but I cannot miss school.  Because this class is so intense and crammed full of stuff, the instructor told us last week that if one were to miss more than a day of class, they would lose all hope of ever catching up, resulting in an automatic fail.  I don't need that; it would be a waste of money and it would delay my progress towards completing my degree.  In short, I'd be fuckin' pissed if I got sick right now.

Besides, we gain an hour this weekend when clocks fall back at 2 a.m. tomorrow.  (You will learn, dear reader, that I am very good at rationalizing my behavior.)  Once I decide what I'm going to use as art, I should have no problem bullshitting my way through a 3-4 page essay.  Besides, it's just the draft that has to be complete, so it can be shit.  In fact, the shittier it is, the more I'll be offering the lucky student who gets to give me peer feedback.  Just think of all the things he or she will be able to advise me to improve upon!  I'm a giver; I know.  I'm beyond frustrated over the Discussion Leading and don't even want to deal with it.  The last I heard from my partner was on Thursday when she told me she'd found a couple books at the college library that she thought we could use as outside sources on our topic, which we've decided is ethics in photojournalism.  Not sure if we're working in the right direction with that or not, but hopefully we'll at least get an A for effort.  (See what I did there?)  I haven't heard from her since, which is making me nervous.  So, I'm planning on just doing the work myself and then anything she adds, if she adds anything at all, will be a bonus.

I'm off to have a few mini candy bars from the Halloween candy Music Man bought for us. I know, I know...I'm awful for not giving free candy to the lovely neighborhood children.  I don't care.  I've fuckin' earned them.  What the fuck have they done?  Before you say, "But, Frazzled, they've painstakingly picked out and/or created a fabulous costume," you need to know that the few I've seen walk past my window do not appear to have made any attempt to dress up in any way.  They were all pre-teen boys wearing football jerseys.  That is not a costume all by itself; I don't care what anyone says.  (I will admit that I could be a teeny tiny bit biased as a result of having dated a guy who perpetually wore football or hockey jerseys, but still.)   HAPPY HALLOWEEN, dear readers!