Tuesday, May 4, 2010

O for Over(whelmed)

Well, yesterday was my last Geology class, dear reader. Yes; Geology is finally over!! It was a short class, which was nice, because I was home by a little after 7:30 versus a little after 9:30. We watched a video and took our final quiz. A few of us decided to wait around for the professor to correct the quizzes, but then he announced that he wouldn’t be able to do that, because his key was incorrect. He had put two questions on the quiz numbered 17, and he ended up having us cross one out, making his key incorrect.

I was surprised that we were not asked to complete a course evaluation. I have not taken a class yet where completing a course evaluation at the end of the course wasn’t required. I guess maybe they know how this professor and class will be scored, so they just let him forgo it, which is a bunch of crap if you ask me. Of all the classes I’ve taken, this one was the one I was most looking forward to evaluating. The professor’s teaching abilities were severely lacking, and the class location was ridiculous! Oh well. I guess I’ll just remember in the future not to take a class at this location ever again, if it can be helped.

While I would’ve liked to have known how I did on the quiz, I suspected that I had done about the same as on the last two quizzes. I didn’t find anything on the quiz to be too surprising and felt as though I had a pretty good grasp on the material. Really, what was most important to me was the final grade. I am super excited and pleased to report, lovely reader, that my final grade in Geology was an A!!!! I have managed yet again to maintain my 4.0! So, not only did I survive Geology, but I survived unscathed! Now I have three weeks off until the summer from hell starts.

Well, I shouldn’t say three weeks off, because that’s not entirely true. I do have to work on the Public Speaking Competency. It is my hope to have it finished up before classes start, so that all I’ll have to worry about is practicing the speech and arriving on the assigned date to give my speech and hand in my written materials. I’m confident that I’ll get it done within these next three weeks. I have to, because with the summer schedule being as hectic as it will be, I will not have time to work on it!

The good news is, once I complete this summer’s classes, I’ll be halfway through my associate’s degree! That’s awesome!!

It’s going to be a hard few weeks off and a hard summer though. People expect me to get together with them and to spend time with them now that I have free time again. It’s not that I don’t want to see or gather with friends or family, it’s just that I really need to spend my time wisely. I haven’t been feeling well lately—I’ve had massive headaches on and off and continue to suffer from extreme lack of energy. I think going off of my meds is playing a role, but I also think Minnesota’s early spring has created a helluva bad allergy season, and unfortunately all I can do is ride it out.

I hate making plans with people and then having to break them, and if I make plans too far in advance, I don’t know how I’ll be feeling when the time comes. Lately, too far in advance is only a week. For example, I had told my mom that Music Man and I would stop by this past weekend, but then I ended up not feeling well and sleeping the weekend away! We’ll see her this weekend for Mother’s Day, so I’m not too worried about it though.

We’ve been telling my stepdad that we’d like to have him and his girlfriend over for a barbecue for months now, and now that the weather’s nice enough to do it, they are starting to get a little impatient. So, Music Man and I have to sit down and figure out a gig-free weekend to have them over for a barbecue. Instead of looking at this as a burden, I need to look at is as a nice opportunity to spend time with family and to relax. I can’t help but to feel overwhelmed though.

When I know that people have these expectations of me, I get burnt out. I feel that I work so hard during the semester balancing school, work, and life, that the little free time I do get between semesters should be all mine. I should be able to nap my life away on the weekends and blog, watch TV, or knit on the weeknights if that’s how I choose to spend my time.

I get upset that people can’t just leave me alone and let me shut the world out for a moment; until I’m ready to rejoin life again. Sometimes I feel as though I’m too much of an introvert. I mean I love my family and friends to pieces and would do most anything for them, and yet I don’t want anything to do with them right now. I feel horrible just typing that!

Go ahead, lovely reader, just say it, “There are worse things in the world, Elle, than having people around who love you and want to spend time with you. STFU!” I know, I know, and you’re totally right. Still, I can’t help but to feel bitter and a little sorry for myself right now. I’m gonna wallow in my self-pity for a little bit longer and then I’ll move on.

I guess what it all boils down to is that I’m stressed out, wiped out, and overwhelmed, so I just want some time to catch my breath. But, I’ll make plans and will participate in family gatherings. I’ll try to schedule things so that at least one day of each weekend will be for downtime and/or time to work on the competency. I’ll even try to like it.

However, I will also be mindful of my time and the things I need to do. If that means only staying at a family gathering for an hour, then that will have to do. School needs to come first. I’m paying a lot of money and spending a lot of time trying to finish this degree so that I can move on to my bachelor’s, and ultimately, to a career I will find fulfilling and meaningful. Hopefully my family and friends can be supportive of my needs. If not, I guess I’ll just have to learn to be okay with being selfish.
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11 comments:

  1. First of all, congrats on the A and being done with Geology!

    Second, I know how you feel about being stressed about people wanting to see you. Now that you have time, it makes sense to want it to yourself. It's hard to make everyone happy. Yes, you may want to see them as well, but it's hard to give to everyone if you are not taking anytime for yourself.

    There is nothing wrong with being selfish.

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  2. Great job on the A!!!! You can still give feedback to your advisor and mention that the class should probably have a class evaluation. It could be that he is supposed to have one and he's not doing it.

    Anyway, I can totally relate about wanting time to yourself. I'm an introvert and my husband calls me on it all the time. I say it's ok to have some time to yourself!

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  3. I know exactly how you feel! I'm kinda in that same place right now! I need to learn how to be a bit more selfish so I don't burn out so easy. I also need to learn not to feel guilty about it either. Hard things to do though.

    btw, thanks so much for the awards! They're my first :) I'll be posting about them soon!

    Hope you get to feeling better soon.

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  4. Congrats on keeping you 4.0!!!! That is always a huge thing when you are in college.

    You don't have to be around people even family if you don't want to. If they are true friends and family then they will understand that!

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  5. Congrats on finishing your class. (You can always go to Rateyourprofessor.com to get your evaluation ya-ya's out.)

    Hope you find balance in your life. That's what we are all seeking!

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  6. woo! not only did you survive learning about rocks, but you aced it! awesome. and you'll never have to do it again. which is even awesomer!

    sorry you're stressed- i'm starting to learn that it's hard to find time for everybody when you have a life and a job. you can do it!

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  7. Sometimes you just need a few hours of uninterrupted time to shut out the world and watch back-to-back-to-back episodes of Intervention and Law & Order. If you don't feel better about your life after that, I don't know what to tell ya.

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  8. Congrats on the A, you seriously kick ass. :)

    I completely understand the need for alone time, take it when you need it!

    Love ya!

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  9. Yay! Congrats on your A! :D

    And I know what you mean about needing some time on your own sometimes. (Sometimes I just need to sleep...)

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  10. Congrats on that A!

    I sometimes just take 'a break from family and friends' and be all by myself and a human chocolate.

    Family and friends should love you enough to understand that you need a break.

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  11. I think that there's always going to be someone that doesn't understand your need to be alone and have downtime. They take it personally and wonder why you are treating them that way. But it's nothing to do w/them...hello?!?
    Never feel bad about putting yourself/needs in the forefront b/c at the end of the day you only have yourself to answer to and honestly, those other people probably aren't giving you a second thought.

    Cheers on the A! You rocked the rock class. Haha.

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