W for Wayback Wednesday (Part 9-Special Edition!)

Welcome to another edition of Wayback Wednesday! This series is made up of old blog posts from a few years ago. If you'd like to, you can catch up by reading previous editions first. In honor of MusicMan's and my upcoming wedding anniversary, we're going to jump way ahead to May 25, 2007, for today's edition so that I can tell you about how we became engaged!

***************************************

Friday, May 25 (two days after my 29th birthday), had been a normal day.  When I got home, I started packing my weekend bag as I waited for MusicMan to call.  MusicMan had been a little "off" all week--tired, kind of preoccupied, etc.--so I hoped that he'd be in higher spirits because of the arrival of the long weekend...Finally time for him to rest and relax; work has been really busy/stressful for him.

MusicMan called at around 6.  We decided we'd head to a local Mexican restaurant for dinner.  When I arrived at his place, I was super happy to see that he was in a much better mood than he had been the past couple days.  He greeted me by tackling me on the bed and giving me a giant hug.  I kissed him hello and we headed out to dinner.

After we ate, as MusicMan was signing the credit card receipt, he said, "I'm getting so sick of my signature today.  I spent all afternoon signing employee timecards!"  I don't know what possessed me to own up to it, but I told him that I had been bored in meetings earlier in the day and had entertained myself by practicing my signature with his last name.  He said, "What?  Really?  Why?"  I told him to forget about it; that I had just broken a major "girl code" by telling him what I’d done.

He said, "Gosh!!!  I'm getting pressure from my mom and my grandma, your mom and your grandma...even your TIVO!!!"  (The Tivo has been recording lots of wedding related shows lately, and I have no idea why.)  I said, "Well, you know, we've talked about it, and I know it's going to happen someday…I'm in no rush.  I just was bored and thought it would be fun to start 'practicing' my future signature."  We talked a little bit about what it would be like when we finally do get engaged--our moms will cry, people will be surprised/excited, etc.  We headed out of the restaurant and decided to go for a ride on the bike.  It had been so long since we'd ridden together, and it was really nice out, so I was super excited to be on the back of the bike.

MusicMan asked where we should go, and I told him to just go wherever he wanted. I had no particular destination in mind.  After riding for about twenty minutes, MusicMan took us to the parking lot of the mini golf course where we'd had our first date.  We got off the bike to have a cigarette.  MusicMan asked if I was going to take my helmet off, and I told him I didn't need to take it off since we were just going to be there for a few minutes.  We looked across the parking lot, and I pointed out where we'd both parked for our first date.  MusicMan said, "This parking lot always makes me nervous." 

We talked about how nervous we both had been on that first date a little over nine months ago and how great the date had turned out.  MusicMan asked me again if I was going to take my helmet off, and I told him that I had to pee and that, since we'd be leaving soon to go to the grocery store to get some desserts and for me to use the restroom, there was no reason to mess with taking the helmet off.

MusicMan got really serious as he looked at me and said, "Well, I did bring you here for a reason."  I don't know why I said it, probably because I'd been concerned about the way he'd been acting all week, but I said, "Oh my gosh!! Are you breaking up with me?!?"  MusicMan said, "No.  Actually..." and got down on one knee.  I was shocked!  My hands flew up to my face and I covered my mouth and screamed, "NO!!," as in "NO WAY!  Is this really happening?!?"  Seemingly out of nowhere, MusicMan produced an open ring box.  (I'd find out later that it had been concealed in his pocket the whole time.  We were both shocked that I hadn't felt it when I was holding on to him on the bike.)

MusicMan looked up at me and, with tears in his eyes, asked, "Will you marry me?  Will you be my wife?"  My hands still over my mouth, I jumped up and down and vigorously nodded my head up and down.  I'd started to cry.  I screamed, "YES!!  Of course!" and started to kiss him all over his face.  It was then that I realized I still had my helmet on!!    I fumbled with the strap to get the helmet off as I said, "Now I really wish I would've taken my helmet off!"  (We'd joke later that I was wearing my "promise ring helmet" when I got my engagement ring.  MusicMan would also tell people that he always knew I was "special.")  We laughed and kissed and hugged.

MusicMan looked at me with teary eyes and said, "August 23, 2008, is a Saturday." as I put the ring on.  I started crying again—Well, more—I’m not really sure if I'd stopped at that point.

Not only had he just proposed, but he also already had a date picked out.  Not just any date, but a tremendously meaningful one—it will be the two year anniversary of our first date.  How cool and special is that?!?!  I looked down to admire the ring, and I just gasped; it is absolutely GORGEOUS!  MusicMan asked if I liked it, and I told him I absolutely loved it.  It's perfect!  He was glad that it fit, because he hadn't known my size, but he'd fallen in love with the ring and decided to get it knowing that we could bring it in to be resized.

I told MusicMan that I had to call my mom.  He told me he'd tried to call her the night before to get her permission for him to ask me to marry him, but she hadn't answered her phone.  My mom screamed so loud when I told her that MusicMan could hear it through my cell phone.  He started laughing.  I told mom about the proposal and that MusicMan had tried to call to get her permission.  She was super excited and happy.  She asked to speak with MusicMan, so I handed him the phone and he talked to her for a bit.  After we got off the phone with mom, we hoped on the bike to head to the grocery store.

I asked MusicMan if this is why he hadn't been sleeping, and he said it was.  I asked him why, because he had to have known I was going to say yes.  He said that, while he was 99% sure I'd say yes, he didn't know if I'd think it was too soon, and deciding how to propose and worrying about whether or not I'd like the ring were very nerve-wracking.  When we got to the grocery store, my face hurt from smiling all the way there.  I went to use the restroom, suddenly realizing that I'd had to pee for quite a while now.  I couldn't stop staring at the ring...it is just so beautiful, and it was so surreal to have it on my hand.  MusicMan and I decided on lemon bars for dessert.

(A couple weeks after our engagement as we scouted wedding reception locations.)

I called Rockstarr (BFF) from the parking lot of the store to tell her the news.  She was very excited and was super happy for me.  She told me she'd do whatever I needed her to do, and that she was going to start honing her "I told you so dance," which she's looking forward to performing in lieu of a wedding speech.  I tried calling my middle sister, but she wasn't home, so I had to leave a message for her to call me back asap.  MusicMan and I headed back to his place.

When we got back to MusicMan's, we called his mom to tell her the news.  She already knew that it was going to be happening, because MusicMan had called her weeks ago (while she was in Hawaii visiting his sister) to tell her that he wanted to marry me and wanted her help picking out the ring.  MusicMan dialed his mom's number and handed me the phone.  When she answered, I said, "Joni?  This is Elle calling, or should I say you're soon to be daughter-in-law."  She was sooooooooooooooooooooooo happy.  "He did it tonight?!?!  OHMYGOSH!  Do you love the ring?!?!"

I told her I did love the ring and told her all about the proposal.  She welcomed me to the family and told me that they were absolutely delighted to have me become a member of the family.  I handed the phone to MusicMan so she could talk to him for a bit.  Then, I tried calling my sister again, but I got her answering machine, so I called her cell phone.  Within about ten minutes, she called me back.  I told her I wanted to give her plenty of advanced notice that on August 23, 2008, I'd need a wedding cake.  "Are you serious?!?" she said.  She said she knew something was up when I called her cell phone, because I never call her cell.  I told her MusicMan had proposed and told her the story of how he did it.  She cried, which made me tear up a little bit.  She was so genuinely happy for me (and MusicMan) and super excited to do the cake.  I decided to wait until the next day to ask her to be my maid of honor. I didn't want to overwhelm her!  

All the phone calls finally done, MusicMan and I sat on the couch to eat our lemon bars.  I was too excited/shocked/overwhelmed to eat mine, so I only had a little bit and put the rest away for later.  Folks, you know I've been shocked beyond belief and am gloriously happy if I ain't finishing dessert!!!!  

MusicMan told me the story of him making the decision to propose, calling his mom to tell her and ask for her help, the "lies" he told about going out shopping with his mom and going to help her with things around the house the past couple weeks when really they were ring shopping.  He told me about how he'd picked out the ring.  It's a custom-made white gold ring from a small family-owned jeweler in our city.  They literally broke the mold after they made this ring, so there will never be another one exactly like it in existence.

He said when he saw it he knew it was perfect.  Then it was time to pick out the diamond.  They showed him several, but the one that really caught his attention was called the Cross of Light diamond.  This diamond is a round cut, but it has more facets than a regular diamond cut into it.  There are 16 "mirror facets" that are arranged in the form of three crosses.  It was created last year by a Minneapolis diamond cutter and is still pretty rare.

As the jeweler went to put the diamond away after showing it to MusicMan, it popped out of the tweezers, hit MusicMan in the chest, and ended up on the floor.  MusicMan told the jeweler he'd think about the diamond and would get back to him in a couple days.  He and mom stood outside of the shop chatting for a bit about how incredible the ring was and how beautiful the diamond was.  MusicMan finished his cigarette, turned around and went back into the shop, and told the jeweler he'd take the diamond.  (It had chosen him, afterall.)

I couldn't believe all the time, thought, and effort he'd put into the ring and making sure it was just perfect.  It made it that much more special to me.  I'd asked how he'd known my size, and at first he joked that he'd taken a picture of my hand next to a dollar bill while I'd been sleeping one time.  Then, he told me that he didn't know my size; the ring was just the size they made it to be.  It fits almost perfectly.  My fingers swell up a lot when the weather gets hot, so I think we could probably have it sized up just a bit, but we'll have the jeweler give us an opinion on that sometime this week.

We were both way too excited to sleep anytime soon, so we decided to head out for a few celebratory drinks.  We went to a local bar/restaurant.  I stared at the ring the whole night as we sat at the bar and discussed the wedding.  MusicMan told me that he wants to be a very active participant in the planning, which I think is awesome.  When we finally went to bed quite late, we kissed and he said, "Goodnight my future wife."  I said goodnight to my future husband and thanked him for making me the happiest girl in the whole entire world by asking me to be his wife. I told him that it's an honor and that I'm super excited to plan our wedding together.

The rest of the weekend was a whirlwind of activity.  We went to my mom's on Saturday, where my youngest sister had decided to throw an impromptu birthday celebration for my twin brother and I and a welcome to the family celebration for MusicMan.  Saturday night, we went out with MusicMan's friend from work, Ty, and his partner, Chayse; we met them for drinks at Houlihan's, and we had a ball.  These two are the gay version of MusicMan and I; they're so great together and are fantastic people to be around.  Sunday we had brunch with our moms, just MusicMan, his mom, my mom, and me.  It was a little more stressful than I'd anticipated, but overall it was okay.  Sunday afternoon/evening MusicMan and I babysat Li’l D at mom's house.  Monday we finally got the day to ourselves to run a few errands and just spend time with each other, which was super nice.

Let the wedding planning begin!!!!!  I am soooooooooooo tremendously excited to marry my soul mate, the man of my dreams, on August 23 of next year.  It can't come fast enough!!!!  And yet, I know it will probably come way sooner than either of us expects.

W for Wayback Wednesday (Part 8)

Welcome to another edition of Wayback Wednesday! This series is made up of old blog posts from a few years ago. If you'd like to, you can catch up by reading previous editions first. We’re gonna jump into the Wayback Machine and travel to September 14 and 15, 2006...

Thursday (September 14)
I am so clearly not used to the kind of guy MusicMan is. He never ceases to surprise and amaze me. We planned to go out to the Mall of America (MOA) to do a little shopping Thursday evening. We were working out the details of the plan via email at work. I had an appointment after work, so I told MusicMan I wouldn't be available until around 6 or 6:30. Then, my plan was to stop at home and change out of work clothes and go pick him up so that we could meet Rockstarr (BFF) at MOA at 7. Rockstarr has wanted to meet him, so we figured this would be as good a time as any for them to meet. He tells me the plan sounds good and just to stop by when I'm ready. About fifteen minutes later, he writes me an email saying: "Hey are you going to have time to eat? Do you want me to make something for you to have for dinner?"

I'm not joking. That's the exact email he sent. My eyes popped out of my head and I nearly fell out of my chair. If I would've smiled any bigger, my face probably would've gotten stuck that way. I was doing some major happy dancing in my head. The thoughtfulness behind that simple question is just astounding to me. I sooooooooooooo can't fathom the caring and concern that he has and continues to show me. And, he says that I'm the one that's too nice! This guy is a keeper for sure!!!

Oh, and in case you're wondering, I did not accept his offer. I told him that his offer was super thoughtful and that he's super duper sweet, but I'd already planned to grab a sandwich or smoothie on the way to the appointment, so I'd be fine. I thought it was a good reply, considering that my initial reaction was: "Ummmmmmmmm...Do you want to marry me?!?!? I love you!!!"

I arrived at MusicMan's at around 6, and we sat around in his apartment talking for a bit before leaving. We both HATE the mall!! So, before we got out of the car, we kissed for luck that we'd make it through the mall unscathed. Ummmm...yeah...I'm relatively sure we both knew we'd make it through the mall just fine, but it was a damn good reason to kiss! (Not that we need reasons.)

Rockstarr wasn't there when we got to the designated meeting spot, so I called her. She was very close, so we stood and waited for a bit. I was really nervous about Rockstarr and MusicMan meeting for some reason; I'm not quite sure why. The initial introduction went very well. After walking around the mall for a couple hours, Rockstarr was hungry, so we headed to the food court. She sat down to eat, and I shared her fries. Rockstarr had wanted extra napkins, and MusicMan had heard her say that, so he'd gone up to the counter to get extra napkins for her, which we both thought was just super nice.

MusicMan handled Rockstarr and I together really, really well! Overall, I think we all had a pretty good time. After we said goodbye to Rockstarr, we headed out to my car. We held hands along the way. MusicMan said that he'd thought Rockstarr was really fun and that he could see why we were friends. I thought that was really awesome. On the way back to MusicMan’s place, I told him I'd hoped the mall experience wasn't too bad and that Rockstarr and I hadn't made him feel left out at all. He said it had been fun and that he'd enjoyed himself and hoped Rockstarr liked him.

Shortly after we'd arrived at MusicMan's, Rockstarr texted me on my cell phone: "MusicMan so rocks!!!" I had to agree! I was glad that she liked him. MusicMan had been asking if I thought she'd liked him, and I told him I definitely thought she did. I told him I'd know if she didn't, and I showed him her text message. MusicMan and I cuddled and watched TV. He told me he was so glad that I hated the mall and wasn't a "shopper," and I told him that I was also very glad that he hated the mall.

At around 11:30, Rockstarr texted me again. I was surprised that she was up so late. She indicated in her text message that she couldn't sleep because she was so excited for me. I thought that was really sweet. She obviously liked MusicMan, she could obviously tell I liked him, and she apparently thought things were going well between us. Yay!

When I got home, I saw that Rockstarr had sent me a message through myspace. She told me she thought MusicMan was "soooooooooo damn cute" and "sooooooooooooo damn funny." She said that she loved the way he looked at me, that he's unbelievable, a "cool cat," and that she got a good vibe from him. I was so glad to get her message. I was really looking forward to talking to her at work on Friday about what she meant about the way he looked at me.

Friday (September 15)
I met Rockstarr for coffee right away when I arrived at work. She went on and on about how great she thought MusicMan was. She said his eyes seem to light up and sparkle when he looks at me. I almost cried. We did the happy dance. She was almost crying! She was just so happy for me that I'd met someone so nice and so perfect for me. We had a great discussion about the previous evening. I told Rockstarr that MusicMan is definitely one of those nice guys that won't finish last. There's no way!! I like him soooooo much and am just sooooo happy when I'm with him. The more time I spend with him, the more I like him!

*************************
I've really wanted to go see MusicMan’s band play, and after discussing it with him, I decided that today would be the day I'd go. They were playing at a bar in Minneapolis. I had mentioned it to my sister last weekend, and she'd said she would definitely be interested in going if she could find a sitter for the kids for a couple hours. Over the week she found a sitter and we finalized plans for what time I'd pick her up, etc.

She called me at around 6 to tell me that mom cancelled on babysitting for her. Thankfully she had a backup plan. So, instead of picking Sis up at 8:30 (the band wasn't playing 'til 9:30), I'd now pick her up at around 7 so that we could take the kids to the sitter. I was actually okay with the change in plans, because that meant I'd get to see my niece and nephew for a bit and Sis and I could go out to dinner beforehand.

After dropping the kids off and having dinner, we were on our way to Minneapolis by about quarter to nine. I was supposed to call MusicMan once we parked, because he was going to bring us in through the back door of the bar. "Just like real groupies!" I told Sis. I wasn't at all nervous about MusicMan and my middle sister meeting. I was way too busy being nervous about meeting the band’s lead singer and the guitar player. These are obviously very important people in MusicMan's life, so I wanted the meeting to go well.

Once we parked, I looked up and saw the band’s lead singer, King (I just knew it was him even though all I had to go on was the myspace picture), walk past my car. I told Sis that that was the lead singer as I called MusicMan. MusicMan met us in the parking lot, and I introduced him and Sis. We headed to the back of the bar where we stood outside finishing up a cigarette and chatting. Then, MusicMan lead us inside.

We walked up to the bar, where King was sitting (I had been right), and MusicMan introduced us. We shook hands. He seemed really cool and super nice. Sis and I ordered drinks. As we were doing so, MusicMan brought the hand stamp guy over to stamp our hands. We'd escaped the cover charge, and the necessary hand stamp, by coming in through the back door, so MusicMan wanted to make sure we were covered. We sat down at a table and started talking. MusicMan had kept telling me that the bar was a complete and total dive, but it wasn't really that bad. We listened to the band that was currently playing while we chatted and drank.

Being that we were in Minneapolis, thus indoor smoking ban, we had to head out behind the bar to smoke. When we went out to smoke, King was out there. MusicMan had bumped into a musician he'd known in his college town and hadn't seen for a long time, so while he was chatting with her, Sis and I started chatting with King about all sorts of stuff—raising kids, dogs, life in general, etc. King was super cool and really funny, and we had a great time talking to him!

MusicMan rejoined us, and we all stood around chatting for a bit. The bands were all running late, because the first band had started late. So, the guys didn't end up going on until around midnight. I was really excited when it was finally time for the guys to play! The band before them was horrible, so we were all happy and relieved when they'd finished playing.

Sis, the guitar player’s girlfriend, and I headed up to the area closest to the stage to get front row seats to watch the guys play. The show was very good! King was awesome and the guys played their hearts out. It was really cool watching them play! They totally got into it. Sadly, since they'd started so late, there was practically no one else in the audience to enjoy them, but the three of us girls enjoyed the show.

Sis and I headed to the bathroom once they finished playing, and we discovered then that the place definitely had dive qualities. The bathroom only had one stall, which wasn't too dirty, but they only had half a bar of soap. Yes; a bar of soap to wash your hands with and one of those old fabric towel roller things to dry your hands. EWWWWW! Sis and I opted to use the anti-bacterial hand wipes I had in my purse instead. I was glad to hear that Sis had enjoyed the show. I had told her on the way out to the bar that King's music, and voice, were very unique. She agreed and said again that she'd really enjoyed it.

The guys had just finished packing up their stuff when we got back. We told King that we'd really enjoyed the show and he thanked us. He put his hand on my arm and thanked us for coming out as I shook his hand. MusicMan, Sis, and I headed out to have a smoke. MusicMan apologized for their performance saying they'd "played like shit." Sis and I told him we'd thought it was great! He thanked us for coming out, and we told him that it was us who needed to thank him for entertaining us.

MusicMan said that, if we could wait another five or ten minutes, we could follow him to the highway in order to find our way out of Minneapolis. (I'm not so good at navigating my way around Minneapolis' snaking one-way streets.) As we headed out, MusicMan said he'd need assistance loading his stuff in his truck. I volunteered for the job just as Sis said, "I'll volunteer Elle!" It was lightly raining, so I handed Sis the keys to the car so she could go wait for me. I helped MusicMan load his stuff into his truck and gave him a huge hug as King walked past us to put stuff in his own car. MusicMan thanked me again for coming out to the show, and I thanked him again for having us come out.

I told him again that I'd really enjoyed the show as King walked past us to head back inside, giving us a little nod as he did so and telling MusicMan it had been a great show. MusicMan and I kissed a few times and he said he'd call me tomorrow to make plans to get together. I headed to my car to take Sis home.

Sis and I talked all the way home about how cool the band was, how cool King was, how cute MusicMan was, and how much fun we'd had. Overall, it was a super fun night!!!! It was a late one—I didn't get home until around 2:30 a.m—but it was totally worth it!!

D for DONE!

Hello, lovely reader!!! I must apologize for my long absence. Silly me thought that, after the two weeks of hell were over, classes and summer would calm down enough for me to blog again. I was sadly mistaken. The English class I took was a doozy. I mentioned in my last post, that the English instructor was bat shit crazy, and it just got worse.

The problem basically boiled down to the fact that she was a terrible planner. She’d assign 120-200 pages of reading on Tuesday with a Thursday deadline, and she’d give a quiz on the reading on Thursday. On top of that, we’d have a 3-5 page draft of a paper due the same day. Of course, instead of handing out the explanations of what was required for the paper in time for us to maybe get a jumpstart on it, she’d hand it out Tuesday. Then, each paper had to include quotes and other citations from 2-4 research sources. That meant assigned reading, research for the paper, and writing of the first draft all had to be done within a day. Because I work full time, that wasn’t entirely manageable.

Of course it goes without saying that I am eternally grateful that English class—and all summer classes for that matter—are done. Over. Complete. Finished! I spent this weekend just relaxing and plotting how I’d spend my two week break with no homework to work on or worry about and no deadlines looming. I have been so used to always having something that I absolutely must get done, and working hard to make sure I’m staying on track and on schedule, that it actually felt kind of uncomfortable to just sit for a moment and do nothing except space out in front of the TV or knit a little bit. I didn't really know what to do with myself!!

Yesterday I got an email from my instructor for the math course that starts August 23. (A.K.A MusicMan’s and my two year wedding anniversary! Happy Anniversary to us. We're planning on celebrating the weekend before.) Now it's goodbye two week break. Within the next two weeks, I have to log into a couple different online systems to read the class syllabus, get the schedule of classes and assignments, and try out the online systems. I have to read Chapter 1, watch a video lecture or two, and dabble with an online homework assignment before class starts on Monday, August 23. Nice.

*PITY PARTY ALERT* You know; just once it would be nice for instructors to consider that maybe—just maybe—some of us didn’t take the summer off. Maybe some of us took classes all summer, which means we’ve worked hard to earn a piddly two week break that she’s now ruined. Dammit! *END PITY PARTY* I know that the world doesn’t, and unfortunately never will, revolve around me, but I’m so bummed. Really, really, really bummed.

I’m going to try not to let it get me down. I’m going to just do what I can, but not push myself too hard. This isn’t a college level math course. It’s an algebra refresher, which I have to take before being able to take any college level math courses. Unfortunately, when I took the college entrance exams, it had been way too long since I’d used Algebra, so I’d forgotten most of it. I’m hoping that Algebra is like riding a bike; once I get started again, I’ll remember it and just fly right through.

I’ve earned this two week break, and I’m going to make sure I get some leisure time in. I have some fun stuff planned already. I will be missing the third day of math class to go see Lady Gaga!!! MusicMan and I are planning on taking a day off of work at the end of August to go enjoy the Great Minnesota Get Together, or the Minnesota State Fair. Oh! And, I’ll be missing a week of class in the middle of September, because—get this—work is sending me to Lake Tahoe for a software conference!

Lake Tahoe!!! I am so super excited. I’ve never been, but I’ve heard great things. To make this even better, MusicMan is going to tag along with me! We’re flying in on a Sunday and leaving Wednesday evening. Unfortunately, there are no direct flights from Minnesota to Reno, so we’ll have to deal with layovers and connecting flights and about a one hour shuttle from Reno to the hotel in Tahoe. The first day of the conference only has one late afternoon session on the agenda, which is only a few hours long, so we’ll get to enjoy Tahoe together on Monday. Then, we’ll spend a little time Tuesday evening after the conference exploring Tahoe a bit, and MusicMan can go out and enjoy it a little more Wednesday while I’m at the conference. It will be nice little getaway for both of us—more so for MusicMan, since he’ll have no other obligations, but I should be able to work in some downtime too while we’re there.

I’m catching up on all of your blogs, lovely readers, but I haven’t left a lot of comments lately. My brain has been entirely too fried to leave coherent thoughts. I’m hoping to get back into the swing of blogging, reading, and commenting this week, and I’m so looking forward to catching up with all of you!!

How have you been?
How is your summer going?

B for Burnt Out!!!

The subject line above sums up my feelings pretty accurately. It has been a challenging, crazy, hectic, pretty much ridiculous two weeks, but I’ve somehow survived it. My last post illustrated how the past two weeks were supposed to go, but here’s what actually happened:

Monday, July 5: Speech project was about three quarters finished. I had compiled research and began to put it into a crude outline. I started to wonder if I should just take the incomplete grade, and not bother showing up on the 14th. I somehow managed not to cry over how frustrated I was.

Tuesday, July 6: I spent much of the day at work compiling my Sociology group’s data together into a script for our fake talk show. This should’ve been done by now, but the group members chose to enjoy their holiday weekends instead of actually sending me their research. I cursed them (and imagined some not so nice things happening to them) while also trying to commit enough of my Sociology notes to memory to somehow pass the final.

English class started. I heard the words “group work” and nearly walked out of the class. Found out during break that group work is all done during class, and calmed down. First assignment: read 60 pages of book before Thursday. Doesn’t seem like it will be such a bad class—two small essays and a larger final writing project seems quite manageable!

Wednesday, July 7: Spent some time at work studying Sociology notes. Hoped fate would miraculously intervene and the final would be cancelled. Fate screwed me. Took Sociology final. Realized my brain retains a lot more info than I give it credit for. Felt as though I did pretty well on final. Ran through talk show with group members a few times. Went home and did a little reading for English assignment.

Thursday, July 8: Finished reading assignment for English class during lunchtime at work. Attended second session of English class. Starting to second-guess this class. Seems like a lot of reading for what is supposed to be a writing class. Assignment: read 44 pages of book.

Friday, July 9: Took the day off of work to get a haircut, in the hopes of looking halfway decent for cousin’s wedding, and to work on speech. End up napping on and off most of the day. (Was obviously exhausted.) Get haircut. Do a little shopping to try to find something to wear to wedding tomorrow. Work on speech outline and finish up competence narrative. Freak out that speech won’t be long enough. Do crude read through aloud to figure out that I do, in fact, have enough data. Proceed with writing speech outline.

Saturday, July 10: Realize that there are some Lifetime Fitness class assignments due Sunday. Oops! Good thing I noticed on time! Attend cousin’s wedding. Wish I would’ve just stayed home, because though it was good to see siblings, niece, and dad, my time would’ve been more valuable spent working on speech. Get home relatively early in the evening and work on Lifetime Fitness assignments. Once again contemplate taking incomplete grade on speech. Try hard not to cry.

Sunday, July 11: Monster headache. Upload completed Lifetime Fitness assignments. Realize how far behind I am on reading for Lifetime Fitness and am thankful it’s an online class. Finish up reading for English class. Practice speech, and make note of how much work it still needs. PANIC! Before bed, I tell MusicMan it just might be best if I don’t go to the Public Speaking Competence. Worse case, I’ll lose the money, but that’s gonna happen anyway when I go and fail it. He stays silent. He knows the stress has hit, and that it’s claws are pierced deeply through my skin.

Monday, July 12: Go to work and tell boss I’m taking tomorrow off for appointments. I’ve really gotta finalize my speech outline and practice, practice, practice. Realize I have no idea where to go to give speech on Wednesday. Call school to get info. Go to final Sociology class. Find out I got an A on the Sociology final. Not really sure how I pulled it off, but excited and pleased that I did. Group presentation goes surprisingly well. I laugh when many classmates tell me I should be a talk show hostess in real life, because I did such an amazing job. Ego boosts makes me start to think that maybe, just maybe, I can do this speech on Wednesday.

Tuesday, July 13: Finish speech outline. Practice. Speech is too long! Cut some stuff out of outline and practice again. Dogs listen attentively. Speech is about 11 minutes, which is pretty much perfect considering guidelines state 10-12 minutes. Transfer important notes to note cards. Realize I need bigger note cards. Shower, run to drug store, buy 4x6 note cards to replace too small 3x5 note cards. Transfer important notes to new, bigger note cards. Practice speech again. Realize I need to change some things on the note cards. Write new cards once again. For the first time, start to feel like I just might have a chance at passing Public Speaking Competence.

Eat a very very quick dinner with MusicMan and go to English class. Starting to hate English class. The class is called “Research Writing in the Disciplines,” hinting that it’s a writing class, however we seem to spend a large amount of time analyzing what we’ve read (in small groups of course) and pulling quotes from the book. To me, this is a waste of time, and I do not have time to waste. Assignment: read 117 pages from book and write 2-4 page draft of first essay…BEFORE THURSDAY! Truly hate English class and instructor now. Realize instructor is obviously bat shit crazy. Try not to cry, scream, or lose my shit, which is hard to do when exhaustion set in long ago.

Go home and practice speech. MusicMan listens attentively and is very encouraging about how great speech is. End at 11 minutes 56 seconds—just under the wire. Go to bed too exhausted to care. Stress is at an all time high. Decide—worst case—I’ll fail the competence tomorrow, losing money I would lose anyway if I don’t show, and I’ll have to pay and find time to take the class. There is no way I’ll have the fortitude to attempt the competency again if I fail, making the only option squeezing the actual class into my already packed schedule of classes I have left to take to complete my associate’s degree.

Wednesday, July 14: Read through lunch. Get less than half of English reading assignment done. Contemplate just skipping the rest, and remember there are quizzes on the reading. Ponder how I’ll finish it on time and wish horrible illness upon instructor. Experience odd sensation of driving home after work rather than directly to school. Have dinner with MusicMan. Drive to campus to give speech. Think about how sick I am of being on campus. Listen to a few dismal speeches, and start to think mine might not be so bad. Go up to give speech…

Nerves set in, even though audience contains only seven people (including instructor). Start speech. Totally skip over thesis statement. SHIT! Panic when I realize this, but keep going. Feel like I’m flying through it—almost can’t catch my breath. Finish speech. 14 minutes!!! OMG—How did that happen?! Think, “Well, better to be over then under.” Nothing I can do about it now. It’s done. Almost cry when I actually realize that it is, in fact, done. Pray that I passed it. Listen to final two speeches. Hear instructor say, “You all passed this part of THE competency…full results will be sent to you in 4-6 weeks.”

Think: “WOOOOOOOHOOOOO!”

Then: “What the hell?!?! WHY did I work so hard, and stress so much, over this when, apparently, one just needed to show up and speak to pass?!?” Seriously! There were people who just stood up and read their outlines, with no visual aids in site. There was one woman whose speech I couldn’t explain to you if I tried, because I could not for the life of me understand what her subject was or what the fuck she was talking about. Apparently I was the only one who read all of the guidelines and tried my hardest to meet them all.

Drive home relieved that it’s over, but pissed off that I worked so hard when it was quite obvious that the six other people there didn’t. Also realize that I took 10 credits this summer, which is just 2 credits short of full time student status. Wonder what in the hell I was thinking.

Arrive home. MusicMan consoles me with, “At least it’s over. Your hard work will pay off in the form of a higher letter grade equivalent than what the others will get.” Think about how lucky I am to have such a great husband. Go to bed completely spent, but with a profound sense of relief that the speech is finally over.

Thursday, July 15: Finish English reading during lunchtime at work. Curse instructor once again. Tell boss I’ll need to use an hour of the afternoon writing a paper for class and that I’ll make it up by working through lunch on Friday. He gives the okay. (What else can he do, really? The alternative was that I was going to leave work early to go home and work on the paper.) Pound out a ridiculously bad draft. Head to class.

Nearly leave class an hour in, because I’m so frustrated over how much time we’re wasting once again analyzing the book and pulling quotes instead of actually reviewing each other’s papers and getting info on how instructor will grade papers. Commiserate with classmates during break—glad to find out I’m not the only one who thinks this class is getting ridiculous and instructor is bat shit crazy with a capital C. Head home from class 15 minutes late, because instructor only gave us 4 minutes to review each other’s papers, so many of us stayed late to get it done. Curse instructor and class. Realize there are only three weeks (6 classes) left, and that if I’ve made it through the past two weeks, I can make it through this.

Arrive home. Have hard time settling down, because I’m so worked up. Feel as though I should be doing something, because I’m so used to being in constant motion at this point. Go to bed thoroughly exhausted, wishing it was Friday.

So, that’s it, lovely reader! I somehow made it through. I’m not thrilled about having to take two days off of work to do it, but there was no way I would’ve gotten everything done if I hadn’t. I never could’ve anticipated, at the time I registered for classes, just how overwhelming these two weeks would’ve been. I hope to never have to deal with similar circumstances ever again. I still can’t believe it’s over, and I survived relatively unscathed. It's going to take me a while to de-stress though...I keep feeling like I'm forgetting something or that there's something I really should be working on. It's amazing how much of a weight that speech was on my shoulders.

This weekend, I have to catch up on reading three chapters of the Lifetime Fitness textbook to prepare for the exam next week. Thankfully, the class ends Thursday. (I'm hoping the instructor opens the exam sometime before Thursday, or I'll have to take it during lunch at work or after I get home from English class.) Then, of course, I have 119 pages to read for English class. Finally, I have to write the final copy of my first essay, which is due Tuesday.

I have missed you, lovely reader. I’m so glad to be back! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you sooooooooo much for the fabulous comments you’ve left and emails you’ve sent giving me support and letting me know you’ve been thinking of me. You all really helped me to get through these past couple weeks, and for that I am endlessly thankful. You all are seriously the best!!! I am working on catching up on your blogs and responding to your emails. I will eventually get through it all. Thanks again, lovely readers, for being so freakin' fantastic! I pink puffy heart looooove each and every one of you!

L for Let the Crazy Begin!

First things first, lovely reader. I earned an A on my Sociology midterm!!! I am super duper proud of myself. As you know, I wasn’t sure I did all that well on it (partially because it was my first experience with blue book exams). Remember how I was concerned that the instructor would think I was bullshitting her? Well, apparently she didn’t see it that way at all. In fact, in some of the areas I thought I bullshitted the most, she wrote things like “Exactly!” “Yes! Yes! Yes!” “Absolutely!” and “Perfect!” This means I’m getting an A in the class, so hopefully I have a little leeway for the group project, which I don’t think is gonna be great (or even good). Then again, I have been accused of being a pessimist, so I could be totally wrong.

This weekend marks the beginning of the two busiest weeks of my summer. While I would like to be able to say that I’ll spend the long holiday weekend resting and relaxing in order to prepare myself for the hectic schedule ahead, that’s simply not true. I will be spending the weekend finishing the work for the Public Speaking Competency; the writing of the speech in particular. I’m down to the wire now. I’ve put myself in this situation in which I now simply have to force myself to get it done. As long as I pass this competency, I’ll be happy at this point. I just want it done.

Here’s what the next two weeks looks like:

Monday, July 5: The speech project will be done or nearly done. (Hopefully time for a little rest and relaxation?)

Tuesday, July 6: English class starts. This writing intensive course marks the beginning of five weeks of large, time consuming writing assignments.

Wednesday, July 7: Sociology final. (Hopefully I'll do as well as I did on the midterm!) I'm hoping my group will gather after the exam to practice our presentation. There are some group members who seem to think we should meet an hour before class while others of us would prefer to spend that time studying for the final. We’ll see how it plays out.

Thursday, July 8: English class. Cross fingers, wish, hope, and pray that there’s no assignment for at least another week.

Friday, July 9: Catch up on Lifetime Fitness reading and homework. Work on inevitable English homework.

Saturday, July 10: Tie up any loose ends that remain for the Public Speaking Competency. Work on first writing assignment for English. (I just know the first one will have been assigned by now.) Attend cousin’s wedding from late afternoon on, calling it an early night in order to get home and back to working on homework.

Sunday, July 11: Practicing speech. (I hope.) Work on English assignment. Practice for Sociology group presentation.

Monday, July 12: Last day of Sociology class! Group presentation.

Tuesday, July 13: English Class.

Wednesday, July 14: SPEECH!

Thursday, July 15: English Class.

Friday, July 16: Catch up on Lifetime Fitness reading and homework. Begin new English assignment. Celebrate that the two weeks of complete and utter craziness are over. Begin worrying about results of Public Speaking Competency. Work to reconnect with MusicMan, because I will not have seen or spent hardly any quality time with him the whole week.

It’s times like these when I really start questioning what I’ve done. What have I gotten myself into? Do I really have what it takes to do this for three more years?! Then, of course, I remind myself that this will all be worth it in the end. Then, I wonder if social work is really the right path for me; it’s hard work with not much monetary payoff, there’s a quick burnout rate, and sometimes I think I hate people too much to want to try to help them. Then, I spend about a millisecond thinking about quitting it all and taking my life back. Then, I remind myself that this will all be worth it in the end.

It hasn’t even started yet, but I’m already exhausted!! I’ll get through it. Somehow...someway...I will get through it.

Hopefully with most of my sanity still intact!

I’m working on a couple posts that I’m going to try to complete and schedule for the time that I’m away. At the very least, there should be Wayback Wednesday posts both weeks. I’m also working on passing along some blog awards that a couple of my wonderful readers have passed along to me.

For my American readers, I hope you have a wonderful (and safe) holiday weekend!! (Of course, I hope my non-American readers also have a fantastic weekend!)